Being single, I do my best to ignore all the hubbub. I know there is no cause for concern, no need to reflect on my failings as person when measured by the fact that I’m single. My life is in no way flawed. I need not feel any shame at my status.
Nonetheless, I am distracted. So, as a panacea to this ailment, I offer up a list of reasons I’m very glad that I’m single.
Feel free to reflect for yourself what is good about your own relationship status – whether single, entangled, entranced or embarrassed – That’s what I think Valentine’s Day should really be about.
- I love the fact that when I open my refrigerator or cupboards, there is nothing unexpectedly dangerous (a box of Cheezits, for example, or a nice new chunk of fresh brie) and nothing missing (the leftover pizza slice I hoarded from last night’s dinner out or enough flour, eggs and butter to bake a batch of cookies).
- I treasure the fact that I can leave a project, uncompleted, in the middle of the dining room table for as long as I like. No one is inconvenienced by my mess, and I don’t have to recreate my workspace each and every time – it’s ready for me when the inspiration hits.
- No one can ever infect my computer with a virus (but me).
- There is exactly as much dirt in my house as I am willing to stand. There are exactly as many dirty dishes as I am willing to clean. There is precisely the correct number of dirty clothing items in my laundry as I am willing to fold, when I’m willing to fold them.
- No one misuses my kitchen utensils, and they always get put back exactly where they belong.
- All the sex toys are mine and I get to use them whenever and however I like.
- When I decide to go on a trip, my schedule is the only one I need to coordinate. When I arrive at my destination, if I decide I want to do something not on the original itinerary, I just do it.
- I can wake up at 4 a.m. I can stay out till 3 a.m. I never worry about anyone getting anxious and no one is awoken, grumpy, by my nocturnal perambulations.
- I am never tempted to waste money on empty gestures or gifts. I never have to feel the guilt of accepting a heart-felt gesture that is a complete bomb.
I wish everyone an enjoyable Valentine’s Day, and I hope you all find in it meaning that suits you and brings you joy and appreciation for what you have.
(Originally posted to my Facebook account on 13 February 2009.)
